Confide in Me
by SilkYuzu
Summary: Oneshot. JasperEdward. Edward always seemed like the type who was perpetually single, although it never seemed to bother him. He was strong, and didn’t need people to be happy. That's why I was so thrilled when he started to confide in me.


Though I had never really thought about it, Edward wasn't the type that I thought would find anyone. Anyone to love I mean. He, Edward, always seemed like the type who was perpetually single, although it never seemed to bother him. He was happy enough, even without me boosting his emotions. Edward was strong, and didn't need people to be happy.

That's why I was so… thrilled when he started to confide in me.

The two of us would just sit together on the roof of wherever we were staying and watch the moon move through the sky as the night passed along. Being a vampire meant no sleep, so we always had plenty of time to talk. At first, when we really didn't know each other, we spoke of simple things. Current events, music, books that we've read, even poems that we'd heard. Slowly though, Edward and I formed a sort of… bond. Our conversations on the roof evolved into more personal things, becoming mutual confessions that we had been to frightened – or ashamed – to tell anyone else.

Edward began telling me about his life in Chicago with his parents, and I repaid him with the stories of my own life back in Texas.

From all that he told me, it seemed like Edward wanted nothing more than to join the Allied Forces in World War I before he had been turned. I remembered that most people his age wanted to do the same thing, and I could easily relate. I could understand that want to go to war, probably better than anyone else in our little 'family'. The desire to go out there and defend your beliefs and family, to preserve your way of life – I had felt the exact same way when I was his age. Back during the Civil War, I had been one of those hot-blooded southern boys who wanted nothing more than to grab a musket and blast the heck out of those northern fools.

I had better luck than Edward though.

He was thrilled with my war stories, how I'd stand in ranks and fire my musket at the blue clad soldiers across from me on the open field. How I rose through the ranks until I was leading my own group of soldiers through the bloody and often burning battle field. My numerous injuries – cuts, bruises, burns – all seemed to mystify him as well as the stories behind them.

In reality, I didn't understand why they thrilled him so much, because when I was accepted into the ranks, I was really too angry to think of adventure. The Kansas-Nebraska Act (1) and that entire Supreme Court Case with Dred Scott (2) had my blood boiling. I really just joined the army in the hopes that I'd shoot something up.

That was long ago though.

Now I find it hard to understand how I could possibly want to defend the southern life style. But then again, I've had years to rethink what the hell I did though.

The war that Edward wanted to join into, World War I is still fresh in my mind. It was really the only thing that people talked about, besides the Spanish Influenza.

Edward told me about that too.

He didn't like to talk about his infection; the situation had been traumatic and painful to say the least. So when Edward did open up and confide in me about his painful memories, I couldn't help but feel… special.

It came to a time where Edward and I could talk about anything – and each night on the roof we talked about everything.

But now – getting back to the present – he's found someone else to confide in. Someone else to tell his dreams his worries. His most secret thoughts. The trust which I worked so hard to earn was now in the hands of someone else, and now he spends his nights in her bedroom instead of on the roof watching the moon.

When I see Edward with her, Bella, I feel lonely. Edward was my _friend_ – no – more than that. I needed him. I needed to talk to him. I wanted to be able to share my dreams with him, and talk about everything like we used to.

I wish I could control my own emotions like I can manipulate other's, because now all I feel is sadness and jealousy when I sit on the roof and watch the lonely moon.

* * *

**Notes:**

**(1) The Kansas-Nebraska Act was placed during the 1800's, leading up to the Civil War. Stephen Douglas proposed that the new territories out to the west would vote on whether slavery should be legal or not seeing as the Missouri Compromised was nor null and void. Illegal voting often took place, like in Kansas where a town of 30 people somehow ended up with 200 votes. In the end, due to illegal voting, Slavery was made legal in Kansas. While this made made many southerners happy, it increased the tension with the north which held many Abolitionists. Rallies and abolitionist newspapers infuriated the south in the months following.**

**(2) Dred Scott was a slave owned by an army medic named John Emerson. When John Emerson died, Dred sued to become free. He was from Illinois, which is a free state. The case went all the way to the supreme court, who ruled that a slave was sub-human and could not have a case in court. This also pleased the south, but increased pressure from the north.**


End file.
